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Simon Chapman AO

~ Public health, memoirs, music

Simon Chapman AO

Monthly Archives: December 2025

Brushes with fame

30 Tuesday Dec 2025

Posted by Simon Chapman AO in Blog

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Tags

famous-people, life, short-story, writing

My wifeTrish, with George Clooney in Bellagio, 2014

If someone’s had a brush with fame, they tend to want to tell everyone about.   I’ve had a few. So OK, let’s get them all out there.

Peter Cook and Sir Alec Guinness

I lived in London in 1973, working in the library at the Natural History Museum in South Kensington (see short story here at p 24). One day I went to browse in a record bar in Mayfair. Behind the counter was an ex-Bathurst boy, Peter Dixon (I’d grown up there). As we chatted, he was full of stories about who came into the shop and their musical tastes. One who did so often, was Barry Humphries.

Humphries had been on the wagon for many months with his alcoholism and was soon to perform in an invitation-only comeback show in the small, intimate theatre of the May Fair Hotel. Peter had been given a ticket. I had long had a passion for Humphries’ Sandy Stone character and still own both of the very rare 7 inch 33rpm Wildlife in Suburbia records from 1958-59, that I bought as a boy (pictured below). I can recite lengthy monologues of two of them (Days of the week, Sandy’s Christmas). [both for sale if you’re interested]

I told Peter all this and he said he’d ask Barry if I could have a couple of tickets (one for my first wife, Annie). I went in next week and was handed the tickets and an autographed copy of his recent LP The Barry Humphries Record of Innocent Austral Verse.

On the big night, we shuffled into our numbered seats.  I was right next to Sir Alec Guinness (1914-2000) and Peter Cook (1937-1995)  (of Peter Cook and Dudley Moore) was in the seat in front of me. I had to squeeze past Dianna Rigg (1938-2020), star of The Avengers. 

What a night.

Mel Gibson

In the 1970s and 80s, I was a regular at the Roma café in Sydney’s Haymarket, just down from the Capitol Theatre. I worked for a time in the McKell Building just behind the Capitol. I’d always have a cappuccino and one of their legendary almond twists. Mad Max had been released in April 1979, starring Mel Gibson. It was huge for him. So one morning I was alone at a table in the Roma, and there he was, on his own, standing and asking me would it be OK if he shared my table. No problem, Mel. No small talk. Just a quiet coffee.

The Rev Fred Nile

I was flying from Amsterdam to Sydney, and in business class in the upper deck of a 747 where you are next to another passenger. It was before the days of the pull up screen that shielded you from the person in the next seat.  I had boarded earlier than whoever it was who would be sitting next to me. Then along he came. It was Fred Nile, Australia’s dour morals crusader. The Sodom and Gomorrah cataloguer, stepping out of the Amsterdam cesspool. Oh Jesus. I nodded at him as he took his seat but that was our only interaction on that very long, silent flight.

John Brass, dual-code rugby international

On a flight from Sydney to London, I had the third seat in an economy row with John Brass and his wife. Brass was an Australian dual rugby and rugby league international, playing 12 matches for Australia in rugby (1966-68) and 6 in league (1970, 1975). League match commentator Frank Hyde used to say he had the best pair of hands in rugby league. I’d been a huge Eastern Suburbs Roosters fan in the 1970s and so had lots to talk about.  We got through quite a few beers and he loosened up about all his old team mates. The nicest of guys.

Tina Turner

Many years ago, I’d seen Tina Turner perform at St George Leagues Club in Sydney’s suburbs. I went along with some Aboriginal health students who were down from the bush. She was without doubt the most high energy performer I ever saw. The students were hugely excited. I think it must have been around the same time, I was on a flight to Melbourne. She was on board, it was her birthday and she came down the aisle with a trolley with a giant birthday cake, serving every passenger a slice. People loved it!

Luc Longley

On July 20, 1995 I found myself at a table at a black tie dinner at Sydney’s Darling Harbour for the 2000 Sydney Olympics. I’d received an invitation to attend and had no idea why. I’m far from loaded and while we have always donated to various charities over the years, forking out for the Olympics couldn’t have been a lower priority. This was what imagined was the purpose. But no.

I was seated in a pre-arranged seat around a circular table along with about 10 others. Opposite me was a towering figure who was vaguely familiar. I sheepishly asked the man on my right who he was. He didn’t know either, but it was Luc Longley (2.18m) who played for the Chicago Bulls basketball team. So who was my other ignorant informer? Only Allan Moss, the CEO of Macquarie Bank. When he retired in 2008, he walked away with an estimated $100m package.

Oh boy. What could I talk about to him over the next couple of hours? It was well before the time when your bank sent those infernal messages to you “after your experience with his today, how likely are you to recommend us to your friends and family”, but even back then, talking about banking was still about the least interesting topic I could imagine. I knew nothing about investment banking. At the time Macquarie did not have a consumer division with actual customers to allow my to ask all the questions I didn’t have.

I knew his wife was Irene Moss, former head of the NSW Anti Discrimination Board, but figured he would feel my asking about his wife’s important job rather than his was sub-par. I don’t recall him asking me anything about my work or life. So it was a long night. We both had little conversation for each other.

I found out later that the dinner was all about bringing the top end of town on board the Olympics, with hopes of corporate splashes. Each table was assigned two “interesting” people to embellish the event: Longley and me, apparently. I was a fizzer. Moss might have got his $100m but, hey, I still have the souvenir wine  glass.

Slim Dusty

In the 1970s,  worked with a woman for while whose boyfriend played violin in Slim Dusty’s band. She called me one Saturday morning and said Slim was playing Cronulla League’s Club that night and they were short of a road crew dog’s body. Did I want a night’s work? I jumped at it and went down in the afternoon to help unload the sound gear from a truck. They then asked if I would stay around till the end of the gig that evening and act as door marshal to the band’s backstage room, and then help pack up.

The brief was that after every gig there would be small queue of people who would want to meet up with Slim. My job was to explain nicely that he was very tired after a long day and, sorry, he couldn’t see fans. I hope they understood etc.

About 15 or so came toward the backstage entrance and most were OK with being turned away. But there were a few who were ready with stories to see them past my imposing presence. One pulled out a photo of a small child and said to show it to Slim because he’d been to her christening as a baby in some Queensland backblocks town years ago. “He’ll remember me, for sure”. He stood his ground, so I went in and summarised the situation to Slim. “Oh well, I guess I’d better be Slim Dusty for a while” he said putting in his hat and stepping outside to greet the beaming bloke.

Pat Cummins

In November 2023, I was with my wife and very young grandson at Clovelly beach about 9am. Its sheltered bay is perfect for toddlers to paddle in the water. There were four or so mothers with similarly young kids and a bunch of schoolboys doing some sort of drills on the sand in in the water with a teacher.

Suddenly Trish said “wow, do you see who that is coming out of the water? It’s Pat Cummins!” Nah, couldn’t be I said. He’s in India at the cricket World Cup. They just beat India in the final.

But hang on. He might have just flown home. The final was the day before. He could have flown home overnight. And I’d read somewhere he lived in Clovelly. Maybe went straight to have a swim and freshen up.

But the more I looked, I thought no. He seemed tall enough, but he didn’t seem to be as tanned on the arms and face as you’d expect after weeks in the Indian sun. He was apparently with his wife and child. Trish googled the wife and yes it was her.

But no one, including us, went near them. Just another family having a morning swim. Pat came along to the outdoor shower with his child when we were there with ours. Some light chat about what a great day it was but again, il silencio about the cricket.

Is there any other country where a national sporting hero, one day after winning the World Cup, could be with his family on a beach and be left alone?

Tell me about yours

Australia takes off the gloves on illegal tobacco while ‘lower the tax’ fantasists plumb new absurdities

09 Tuesday Dec 2025

Posted by Simon Chapman AO in Blog

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Tags

news, smoking, vaping, wastewater

Australia’s epidemic of illicit (untaxed) cheap cigarette shops is entering a new phase as Australian Border Force reports record seizures and three states (South Australia, Queensland and New South Wales) have taken off the kid gloves and are now hammering illegal tobacco retailers.

Australian Border force data show “From 1 July 2024 to 30 June 2025, the ABF made 23,097 illicit tobacco detections, seizing 2.53 billion cigarette sticks and 435.46 tonnes of loose-leaf tobacco. This equates to a total of over 2,091 tonnes of illicit tobacco products seized and prevented an estimated $4.36 billion in duty evaded across the financial year.”  In the first quarter of the 2025/2026 financial year, a further “586 million cigarettes and over 3 million vapes have already been seized at the Australian border in the first quarter of this financial year (1 July – 30 September)”.

Queensland has recently introduced fines of up to $161,300 or one year jail for a commercial landlord who knowingly allows a tenant to sell illegal cigarettes and vapes. Its store closure powers are now 3 months, up from a mere 72 hours, once commonly referred to as “the tobacconists’ long weekend”. The Health and Ambulance Services Minister Tim Nicholls describes the new laws as “an absolute game changer“.

South Australia has now closed 100 shops for 28 days, with two closed for much longer with another eight  before the courts  facing long term closure and massive fines; seized 41 million cigarettes (2.05 million packs); and 140,000 vapes.

NSW Health began getting serious when legislation enabling on the spot 90 day closures, stock seizures, landlord fines and serious maximum on-the-spot fines ($1.54m) came into effect from the first week in November. The Department updates its register of busts each Friday, with the current list now at 40 closures.

In early December raids on homes and storage facilities saw arrests and seizures of 10 tonnes of illegal tobacco.

Western Australia and Victoria which have historically been on the national podium for their early adoption of most tobacco control laws and regulations but look certain to get the booby prize on this issue, both still playing catch-up with other states .

For as long as governments have taxed tobacco, tobacco companies have lobbied for the taxes to be frozen or reduced. For over 40 years they have had day-by-day, shop-by-shop, brand-by brand data on the sales impact of every variable know to reduce or increase cigarette sales. Significantly here, tax increases have always been in the industry’s crosshairs because they depress sales.

Sweet spot tax fantasies

It’s been standard for several years now for those in lockstep with Big Tobacco’s calls for lowering tobacco tax to call for a halt to rises and to make allusions to tobacco excise tax actually falling.  Deakin University criminologist James Martin has been in the forefront of these calls for Australia’s tobacco tax to be lowered but until quite recently had been too shy to give us all his expert figure on a new “sweet spot” for a tax reduction. This would be the point  where many smokers would abandon buying cheap illicits and go back to paying for legal taxed cigarettes.

Today, if you buy a carton illegal cigarettes, you can get them for as low as $7 a pack of 20. A common range for a single pack is $10-$15.  Martin and Alex Wodak dodged naming a tax rate in July 2025 in a Crikey piece when vaguely urging “reducing tobacco excise to undercut the illicit trade”.  Something called “Harm Reduction Australia” published an unsigned Tobacco Harm Reduction Policy Brief , presumably covered with the fingerprints of its tobacco harm reduction advisors, Wodak and Martin. They suggested that the tax be reduced to the level it was in 2020. In this August 2025 blog, I did the maths, and  generously took the hypothetical cuts even further back to 2019 tax levels to see how things tasted.

If this occurred today, the retail price of a reduced tax pack would  fall to some $22, still $7 or 47% more than a pack of $15 illegals or $15 more than the $7 a pack when buying by the carton price.

So on what planet would anyone be living on who seriously thought such a tax reduction would see droves of smokers rush back to the newly reduced tax legal cigarettes?

Eliminate tobacco tax … to get more smokers buying taxed tobacco!

This ludicrous penny may well have finally dropped for Martin when in November he was publicly quoted in the Singapore Straits Times that “taxes would need to be significantly lowered and even eliminated to discourage criminals from operating a black market.” [my emphasis]. Eliminated. Now how would this work?

Let’s walk through his brilliance.

So … the government has a problem that it’s losing lots of tax revenue because many smokers are buying illegal untaxed cigarettes. To fix this, Martin suggests that the government should consider dropping all tobacco tax.  If it did this, there would of course be no tobacco tax to collect, but, hey, these now (legal) untaxed cigarettes  would be competitive with (illegal) untaxed cigarettes and the black market would be “discouraged”. All following this?

But wait… with the newly tax-free legal cigarettes, where would the government get the extra river of gold of tobacco tax revenue from that it desperately needs, since it would have just eliminated it all? Whoops!

Enter the Davidson

The latest player to step forward into this mess is Professor Sinclair Davidson from Victoria’s RMIT.  Davidson, an adjunct ‘fellow’ at regulation-scything Institute of Public Affairs has been an anti tobacco control warrior for sometime via his now defunct Catallaxy Files blog and his four time participation in Big Tobacco’s annual invitation-only global shindig, the Global Tobacco and  Nicotine Forum.

In a paper for the Centre for Independent Studies, Davidson is also shy of telling us what his tobacco tax cut/illegal tobacco ending magic number is. All he’s willing to say is that it would be “stabilised within an economically defensible range”. And that would be?

Google Scholar shows Davidson has had 320 publications since 1991, 134 (42%) of which are uncited. Six of these are about tobacco, which have attracted all of 26 cites.  That’s his form in all this. Still, a 42% never-cited rate is a lot better than the 82% rate reported across the humanities.

Those lobbying hard to get governments to do something sensible to wreck Australia’s illegal tobacco and vapes market are in an unlikley choir that has never sung from the same hymn sheet before. It includes Treasury, the convenience store, tobacco and vaping industries, and public health.  All are very keen to see illicit tobacco trade fall dramatically. Treasury wants tobacco tax to grow, and the three industries want their tobacco sales revenue streams back. Public health and government want smoking to fall, and non-smokers (especially kids) to not buy vapes or tobacco, as they increasingly are failing to do.

Wastewater nicotine analysis: total nicotine is falling, not rising

Here, wastewater nicotine analysis offers a potential lever for the industry interests to pull in its lobbying for tax reduction. We have all seen illegal tobacco shops openly trading, and some think this must mean that more people are smoking to make this trade viable. But is it actually true that cheap illegal cigarettes are causing more people to take up smoking and less to quit? Or is it just moving lots of current smokers from legal sales outlets to much cheaper illegal ones?

Here, Davidson quotes from the National Wastewater Drug Monitoring Program’s (NWDMP) latest report for 2023-24 .They have been testing since 2016-17,  publishing data on nicotine found in wastewater (sewage) in testing sites serving 57% of the Australian population (14.5m) with both regional and capital city sampling.

The summary below from its latest report shows that between April and August 2024, population weighted nicotine consumption fell in both regional and capital city Australia. In fact this fall has been going on since August 2023: page 16 of the report states that while illegal tobacco and vape retailing was booming  “for nicotine, average consumption [across Australia] decreased between August 2023 and August 2024”  Although page 87 notes that “average capital city nicotine consumption then increased from August to October 2024”.

Contrast those words with Davidson’s at p6 of his report “Wastewater analysis reinforces this picture: between August 2023 and August 2024, aggregate consumption of nicotine rose to above long-term averages”. The NWDMP reports on “average consumption decreased” (ie population weighted) while Davidson says “aggregate consumption … rose” (ie total consumption unweighted for population growth).

Sorting different sources of nicotine

The NWDMP’s testing to estimate consumption of nicotine is done by measuring two nicotine metabolites, cotinine and hydroxycotinine. Their report notes on page 32 that this method “cannot distinguish between nicotine from tobacco, e-cigarettes, or nicotine replacement therapies such as patches and gums” and that “consumption of nicotine has increased over the life of the Program” (p59)

This is hardly surprising. Vaping in Australia rose substantially between 2019-2023 and in 2022-23, 233,544 PBS prescriptions were issued for nicotine replacement therapy (NRT), some 43% of the estimated NRT market (a majority of which is over-the- counter sales in pharmacies and supermarkets). So together with nicotine from vapes, this NRT sourced nicotine represents a river of excreted nicotine  in the sum of total nicotine in Australian sewage systems, a point acknowledged by Davidson.

Emerging science points to possibilities of testing wastewater to get separate estimates for total nicotine (cigarettes, vapes and NRT combined) including that only from cigarette use. Anabasine and anatabine are minor alkaloids found in tobacco but are absent in NRT. However anabasine is present not just in cigarettes but also in e-liquids and aerosols. So challenges remain to test for estimates of only tobacco use (leaving out NRT and vaping nicotine exposure).

This is an  area of science very much in its infancy, with the take-home message being that we all need to remain sceptically alert to crude claims that “wastewater” analysis is showing changes one way or the other in tobacco smoking.

Those in Australia who have collectively decades of experience in monitoring and interpreting different data sets on tobacco use, repeatedly  emphasise that longer term data from multiple sources including survey data are essential in getting a true picture of trends. Prof Coral Gartner from the University of Queensland said that “All data, including that from wastewater, has limitations and errors, including seasonal effects. What may look like an increase in one data collection can become just ‘noise’ when further data points are added.”

If you search “wastewater and nicotine” for Australia, stand by for reports on the latest NWDMP data that variously describe nicotine as being up or down. Those catastrophising the possibility that smoking will be certain to rise in the presence of cheap illegal cigarettes can take nothing definitive from the latest wastewater statistics. But with those who collect and interpret it saying that total nicotine is down across the country, those saying it is up need to explain themselves.

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